Grass Valley, CA — In what activists are calling “the great relief,” a spokesperson for the Nevada County-based group called Look Up! proclaimed that yesterday marked the 937th day without the scourge of overhead chemtrail spraying of our local skies. It was shortly after the election of Donald Trump when “spotters” saw their last chemtrail.

“I remember that last chemtrail day,” said community activist Saihra Ramun who was successful in making neighboring town Nevada City the country’s first chemtrail-free zone. “It was late October, and [then FBI Directory James] Comey had just come out with the Clinton thing. And that’s when I knew Trump would win and take the battle to the skies for us. Not that I support Trump or anything like that. It’s just Clinton is a globalist, and we all know who’s behind all this bioengineering to control our skies.”

Chemtrails for Dummies

The chemtrail conspiracy theory is the unproven belief that long-lasting trails, so-called “chemtrails,” are left in the sky by high-flying aircraft and that they consist of chemical or biological agents deliberately sprayed for sinister purposes undisclosed to the public. Others with an IQ above 97 maintain that the atmospheric phenomena condense water particle vapor from airplane exhaust.

Look Up! was founded by Ms. Ramun in June of 2014 when she perceived that there was a growing apathy towards, as Ms. Ramun calls it, “the poisoning of our skies by global elites.” After announcing her attention on her bi-weekly radio program (which has since been replaced by the Tempeh Cooking Hour) aggressively called “Look Up or Die.”

“It was more than just everyone being sleeping sheeple,” continued Mr. Ramun, “it was the rise of the Internet trolls. Us activists were under attack from all angles. And what could be more seminal, pardon my patriarchal language, than our air? Besides, I have documents that prove that these trolls are paid by elite organizations like the Gates Foundation,  the George Soros Bankers Collective, and more recently,” Ms. Ramun paused to gather a deep breath, “Verizon Wireless.”

The Look-Up! Memo

Look Up! issued a memo regarding the clear skies milestone, and claimed that their activism was vital in “intimidating elites to discontinue their attempts to control our environment.” However, like CalTech scientist Dr. Tral Aldrich, others say it has more to do with the climate profiles of the area.

“Well, clearly, there are fewer contrails because the atmosphere is different during the winter,” said Dr. Aldrich speaking via telephone. “I’ve never heard of activism influencing the climate except in that George Clooney movie Men Who Have Goats as Pets, or whatever it was called.”

As for the Look Up! activists, they’re planning on marking the event over the weekend with an Orgonite/crystal rock and permaculture show at Nevada City’s Miners Foundry. General admission is $5.00. Seniors free. Trust funders $5.50.

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