Roy Riffle

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Our youngest columnist, Roy Riffle gained fortune, though not necessarily fame, when at 9 years old he coined the phrase "Obey Your Thirst". Some of his smugness stems from "having read the bible and understanding the metaphors." Roy is currently the only Millennial on the Beacon payroll. And hopefully the last.

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15-year-old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley abruptly informed his family on Wednesday that he "was ready to go home" from their outing at the Yuba River.

Teenager Informs Family That It’s Time to Leave

15 year old Kevin Thomas of Grass Valley abruptly informed his family on Wednesday that he "was ready to go home" from their outing at the Yuba River.
Area Woman Christine Wayfair is now in hot water with the Police following her protest at a local pool.

Local Woman Doesn’t See Why She Should Shower Before Getting in the Pool Because...

Area Woman Christine Wayfair is now in hot water with the Police following her protest at a local pool.
Police were dispatched to attend to a suspicious appliance outside of the Grass Valley Salvation Army.

Suspicious Rice Cooker Left Outside of Salvation Army

The Police were dispatched to attend to a suspicious appliance outside of the Grass Valley Salvation Army.
Shelly Wagner seen here "researching" scabies and ebola symptoms

Grass Valley Woman Uses Internet to Self-diagnose Gluten Disease

Shelly Wagner seen here "researching" scabies and ebola symptoms

Nation’s First 5G Vaccinations Offered at Nevada City Homeless Shelter

Nevada City became the nation's first to vaccinate against the dangers of 5G wireless technologies.
Nevada City, California will be the nation's first town to ban all 5G-related technologies.

Nevada City 5G Injury Lawyer Files Bankruptcy

A local law firm has run out of money to fight the dangers of 5G.