Area Goodwill Donation Centers Preparing for “Nike Flood”

As local conservatives engulf their Nike clothing in fire for no apparent reason, area Goodwill donation centers say they are being flooded with the apparel giant's clothing.
As local conservatives engulf their Nike clothing in fire for no apparent reason, area Goodwill donation centers say they are being flooded with the apparel giant's clothing.

Grass Valley, CA — Area Goodwill donation centers are bracing for what company officials are calling an upcoming “Nike Flood” as local conservatives rid their wardrobes of the clothing giant’s products.

Former 49er quarterback Colin Kaepernick signed on Nike’s 30th anniversary celebration ad campaign of the Just Do It slogan, agreeing to lend his name to Nike apparel. The company, which supplies game-day uniforms and sideline apparel for the NFL’s 32 teams, will donate to Kaepernick’s “Know Your Rights” campaign.

Conservatives across the country were outraged by the action, some taking to burning their Nike clothing often with disastrous results. More moderate voices within the American Right are donating theirs to various charity organizations.

“We’ve already seen over 700 pairs of shoes donated to our Glenbrook center,” said Goodwill Industries spokesperson Bethany Millbright. “Some of them show signs of charring from attempts to set them on fire. We’re not sure why anyone would want to set their shoes on fire, but people do all kinds of stupid things.”

According to Ms. Millbright, they’ve also received over 50 “Just Do It” shirts and over 25 sweatpants with the same corporate slogan.

“We’ve also received several Adidas and Reebok footwear that has also been burnt,” continued Ms. Millbright. “It’s weird that people are burning Nike clothing,  but the other companies have nothing to do with it. It seems like Trump supporters are really into burning things. Perhaps someone should look into this.”