Penn Valley’s ‘Fuck Your Feelings’ Guy Says Socialism Feels Wrong
In Penn Valley, where trucks are monuments and irony is the main course, Dustin Jayce Dickens' anti-socialism truck roars louder than his political understanding. As he champions public funding for better roads, he unwittingly parades the benefits of the very socialism he claims to despise.
Penn Valley Man Fails to Evade Traffic Violation After Calling Police Officer “The Deep State”
In Nevada County, where Highway 49 meets 20, Dustin Jayce Dickens's rush for a Squeeze Burger due to "low blood sugar" spiraled into a bizarre standoff with Officer Daniels, as he decried the traffic stop as a Deep State conspiracy, blending hunger with political paranoia in a uniquely American tableau.
An Exclusive Tour of Nevada City’s Secret Mineshafts
In Nevada City, a clandestine exploration beneath the quaint streets reveals more than just hidden tunnels; it uncovers a town rich in eccentricities, guarded by the whimsical Keepers and their rivals, The Diggers. Join Loretta Splitair as she navigates this underground saga, where history and humor collide in unexpected ways.
Nevada County Week in Review: Grass Valley Unveils World’s First Cryptozoological Park
Nevada County has once again emerged as a vortex of the vibrant and the visionary, hosting events that stretch the imagination from the depths of history to the farthest reaches of the cosmos.
Concern Spreads as Teletubbies Turn Grass Valley into a Sparring Ground
Grass Valley's leaders are in a tizzy after unearthing an underground fight club where Teletubbies throw down in secret, raising concerns about the town's image and the message it sends to our youth. The cuddly brawlers' nighttime antics have turned the once-peaceful streets into rings of revelry.
Man Bails on California to Go Someplace Shitty and Cheap
In a quest for 'freedom,' Brock trades Monterey's coastal charm for Idaho Falls' wintry desolation, only to find himself longing for the life left behind. His journey is a stark reminder of the trade-offs in pursuing ideological purity over environmental and cultural riches.
Area Conspiracy Theorist Claims We’re Living in a Denny’s Simulation
In a baffling twist to local conspiracy theories, Skyy Wolford has stirred up Nevada County by asserting that our reality is nothing more than a Denny's simulation, an idea that has the Placer County Minutemen and even astrophysicists scratching their heads over their Grand Slam breakfasts.
Broad Street Right Now
Nevada City
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Other News
Weird
Scientology Building Secret Vault in Graniteville, California
The Church of Scientology is currently building a secret and mysterious vault in Graniteville, CA.
Heads Down, Phones Up: Grass Valley Chiropractor Battles the Smartphone Slouch Epidemic
At Dr. Al Capopped's clinic, it's more than chiropractic—it's a revival. With his 'Neck-o-Matic' and comedic dance routines set to dial-up tones, he's straightening out the 'Tech Neck' epidemic one chuckle at a time.
Area Senior Can’t Stop Computer From Printing
Reynaldo M. Rodriguez's printer has stopped working correctly. Mr. Rodriguez prints "every god-damned email" he gets because he's afraid he'll lose it.
BriarPatch Terminates Cat Yoga Sessions After Complaints from Dog Owners
After receiving numerous threats from dogs owners, a local CO-OP has shut down all cat yoga sessions.
Papa Murphy’s Employee Rushed to Hospital After Accidently Wrapped in Cellophane
In a startling mishap that left the Grass Valley community wrapped in concern, a local Papa Murphy's employee found himself the unintended filling in a cellophane wrap, sparking a flurry of worry and a call to emergency services.
Paranormal
5G Tower Kills Local Man
Local resident Joe Aguinaldo was killed by a cell tower while driving home from Nevada Club where he was nearly arrested for fighting a clown.
State of Jefferson to Host Nation’s First Bigfoot Sanctuary
The California contingent of the State of Jefferson (SoJ) secessionist movement announced today that it plans on establishing the nation's first Sasquatch sanctuary located in Siskiyou County.
Biblical Archaeologists Find Noah’s Ark in Nevada City, CA
A recently discovered diary from the eccentric gold rush preacher Wilford E. Shank suggests that Noah's Ark maybe in Nevada City, CA.
Nevada County Week in Review: Grass Valley Unveils World’s First Cryptozoological Park
Nevada County has once again emerged as a vortex of the vibrant and the visionary, hosting events that stretch the imagination from the depths of history to the farthest reaches of the cosmos.
Satire
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